Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Monitors - Grazing In The Grass

It took me about 40 minutes to find this gem today. Sometimes I get this song stuck in my head but I don't know all the words. I'm working on it for my next kareoke performance.

I hope that this year some people will be willing to perform this with me in a talent show fashion.

Can you dig it?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Cuz I Have

Have you ever put shower gel on your hands thinking it was lotion?

Have you put shower gel in your hair thinking it was shampoo?

Have you forgotten to rinse the shampoo or conditioner out of your hair?

Have you washed your clothes forgetting to put in detergent and not realize it until your folding your not clean, clean clothes?

Have you ever sent a gossipy text and in process sent it to the wrong person? meaning the person you were gossiping about?

Have you ever said not nice things about someone and they were standing right behind you?

Have you ever said not-nice things about someone AS YOU WERE CALLING THEM and they pick up and hear you?

*Have you ever been awesome enough (huge stretch--this is not awesome) to play the previous three items off?

Have you ever tried to communicate to your boss the difference in your work styles, using the comparison of your boss being God and yourself just being an angel?

Have you ever purposely shut downs someone else's excitement?

Have you ever liked someone so much that you just can't talk to them?

Have you ever felt like pointing out to the guys you do talk to that you just don't like them?

Have you ever tripped up the stairs while walking with a guy you have a hard time talking to and decide it'd be better to just crawl up the remaining stairs with your hands?

Have you ever slipped in vomit in a high school hallway falling flat on your butt?

Have you ever fallen so hard, been left feeling so embarrassed that you think it might be more graceful just to lay there and not move?

Have you ever hit your head on the side of your car while trying to get in your car?

Have you ever gone all day without realizing your shirt is on in-side-out, or backwards?

Have you ever driven the wrong way on a one-way street because it was more convenient?

Have you almost gotten in an accident while driving because you saw a huge insect on your arm, so you scream, swerve, try to kill the bugger, forgetting your in moving traffic?

Have you ever been attacked by a swan (or maybe just a big white duck)?

um, I could go on...

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

An Attack or a Gift?

Labor Day weekend is supposed to be fun! A last hoorah before school and work and fall routines occur again. Why do we make this weekend the worst possible by making it moving weekend? Maybe there is a way for me to avoid that in the future. Nonetheless, I did not have a final hoorah, I moved. It was long, arduous, mind-numbing work. I'll spare you the details and the pain, I doubt I could communicate that worthily enough. I'll sum up and say that at 3am Sunday morning my three new best friends had successfully helped me move everything I own to my new apartment. Sunday I was able to unpack and try to get some things organized. I was ahead of the game. My roommate was planning to bring all of her things on Monday. This is where my delightful story begins.

On the side of our house we have a patio that wraps around to the front of our building. There is a gate there and it is usually locked. For the weekend of our move we had asked the landlord to open it for us because it would be easier to carry things through the sliding glass door as opposed to our front door. Sunday night I went to sleep, anxiously thinking about all the things I had ahead of me the next morning. When I woke up I looked outside my window and saw that there were things outside the glass door on the ground. My first thought was that my roommate had a burst of energy during the night and decided to move some items and just leave them outside. I thought, "Oh, she should have woken me up, I would have opened the door for her!" Upon closer observance I noticed a toaster. She and I had discussed the fact that neither of us would be bringing a toaster to the house. Perplexed, I went to look closer. As I walked toward the glass door I was amazed at what I found.
This is the only picture I took. It captures a lot, although not all. Someone had come during the night, laid out a carpet and carefully piled junk all over it. As I looked I noticed that a lot of care went into this gift on my porch. My favorite part was the stuffed bunny, frog, and duck having a tea party on an old suitcase. This was funny! I continued looking and found a broken iron, toaster, VCR, water heater, a chair with an old boot, a poster with a goat on it, and many other gems of other peoples lives which had been cast aside.

I first thought it was my friend who helped me move. When I thought further, these friends wouldn't have done it. They were already out moving me the night before into the early morning hours and were just as tired of moving stuff as I was. At first it was funny, but then that changed. I was going to have to move all of the junk off my porch. I had already moved so much! The thought of moving anything extra was painful and mean!!!! This was mean. I called another friend to help me get rid of it. As she arrived we found a matching chair on the street outside my house. So I have a new theory. There were two guys moving out of my building Sunday. I helped one of them, sort of, holding the door or whatever. My new guess is that it was them. But that also doesn't make sense. I have a really hard time picturing anyone who'd been moving all day setting up a tea party with stuffed animals for people they don't know. At the same time, maybe they are far more clever and were able to have a lame final hoorah on their labor day weekend.

So I don't know what to think. But I'm back to thinking that it was kind of funny. I can appreciate harmless pranks, although quite annoying. I'm glad I have this picture to remember it. I hope it's not some kind of freak stalker new neighbor.