Violation

It's almost 9am. I am at work. I usually don't eat much this early but I like having some tea in the morning. Last week I made the HUGE error of leaving my mug in the kitchen while I was dealing with a client. This morning I hoped I would find it in the kitchen, be able to wash and sanitize it, and then still use it. As I walked in the kitchen there was an interesting man there. Not one from my program but an overnight program that uses the kitchen in the morning. I said hello and started searching for my mug. I looked on the mug shelf-nope. I looked in the draining board-nope. I looked on the dishes shelf-nope. I looked on the counters- NOPE. Saddened I turned around to go back to my office when I saw that scary man had my mug!!! He had it filled with some horrible looking liquid. I think I just stopped and frowned, not sure of how to deal with my disappointment. Actually I was horrified. He can have the mug.

my life

I have no idea who reads this blog. My family may discover that I've finally posted something, but other than that, I'm not sure. It's kind of fun to try to explain certain things to different kinds of audiences. For example: my life as a part of a singles ward. Friends in Boston will understand because many are part of such a world. My family, however, may not fully comprehend the magnitude of what this world involves and for that I offer the following:

An email arrived in my box today (a special email address set aside for ward spam and other business advertisements) along with 4 emails regarding emergency preparedness, 1 for dinner groups on Oct 21st, a few regarding political candidates, one looking for a nanny, a reminder for FHE (same time/same place), a birthday party (two actually), and one telling people about an education conference coming up. I LOVE our ward list serve. These were actually all pretty standard. I want to share this one specifically that recapped the announcements from RS on Sunday. I worked on Sunday so I really appreciated the recap, but as I read I laughed out loud. Here is why:

This week:

Monday-FHE
Wednesday- Opening social for institute (you're only as spiritual as your last spiritual experience, shared over the pulpit I hear to recruit for institute)
Thursday- New sisters Dessert
This Weekend- Cambridge Reunion get your tickets NOW

Next Week:

Sunday- Bishopric Fireside
Monday- FHE
Wednesday- Institute
Fri, Sat, Sun- Ward Camp out in Sharon Vermont But if you're not going to that: Sat- Cambridge Stake enrichment, and the general RS broadcast

Next Month (plan now) The education conference

Just in case you need more things to do:

Tuesday- Books and Basketball
Along with your regularly scheduled temple shift, volunteer for the cleaning shift our ward is responsible for.
Be sure you are up to date on our ward emergency preparedness plan-we are on week 8 and you should now have your 72 hour kit, 2 weeks of food storage and cash and all critical documents stored, but you do have until the 27th to secure all that if your behind. (but fill out the survey so we know what areas need to be improved)

So I'm reading all this and I start to sweat. I had just finished a long, PAINFUL, email exchange about visiting teaching this week. Tuesday night is set, but we want to see another girl too and maybe Thurs? But then I'd miss the new sister dessert...But WAIT!!!! I was actually planning on spending time with some school friends I haven't seen lately...because, well, this is my best attempt at sharing the gospel (which I'm also supposed to report because the Elders are coming over for dinner next week and they are going to ask me!)

I really love my ward because everyone IS so involved. These things (all of them) get done!!! My problem is that I have no idea how to balance all these things. Guilt creeps in as I skip FHE. I've now worked 8 days in a row for at least 8 hours a day and I'm pretty tired and drained. At the same time, I love this! I love being busy, trying to balance. I haven't been to the grocery store since I bought muffins and orange juice for my friends who were helping me move at 1am on Sept 1st. I have, however, filled my gas tank 3 times since then, gone to a byu football party, attended ward temple night, brought my mozzarella cheese to last Sunday's dinner group, made soup with friends at my house one evening (visiting teaching!), had dinner with a friend, gave a co-worker a ride home (twice), and bought a new outfit for the US Open. As I type my arms and hands are shaking slightly thinking about it all. (I think it's just because visiting teaching isn't settled yet so I'm not sure if I need to cancel with my school friends for Thursday dinner)

I don't write all this to complain-not at all! I just thought my family would find this new insight into my world interesting (at least). And for those of you who live this life as well, a moment to pause and brush it off. I mean, super-cute Sunday is over, the pressure is off!

Something to note

Today a question came up at work. I thought I'd share the answer with all of you because I am so easily irritated at poor grammar, written or spoken (not that I think I'm that great--don't get me wrong, but there are some things people should know). This is one I wasn't sure about. Check it out...

Word Choice: in behalf of / on behalf of

A traditional rule holds that in behalf of and on behalf of have distinct meanings. Accordingly, you should use in behalf of to mean “for the benefit of,” as in We raised money in behalf of the earthquake victims. And you should use on behalf of to mean “as the agent of, on the part of,” as in The guardian signed the contract on behalf of the child. But as the two meanings are quite close, the phrases are often used interchangeably, even by reputable writers.

I just found it interesting.

You're welcome.

Update

I have so many things I want to blog about but I need more time to do these items justice!! So instead i thought I'd update people on what my plans are (since I don't think I have).

I start my new job on Monday. I'll be working at a day treatment program in Quincy MA (that's on the south shore) So there will be a little commute, but it won't be too bad. I'm really excited about this job. I'll be working with severely mentally ill adults in group therapy each day. There are a lot of different groups currently running: dealing with anxiety, depression, personality disorders, groups on anger and emotions, psycho-ed groups on communication and assertiveness, DBT, and more. So I'm not sure which ones I'll be leading but I may even get to start some. I was thinking of a music group or a creative expressions group with a CBT slant--there are so many possibilities!!!

I am also moving. Nope, not to the South Shore (that'd be the smart thing to do). I'm actually moving so as to add 15 minutes to my commute. Further north is Medford and I'll be living in a really cute house with two girls from my ward. I'm also excited about this. I do wish it were in Cambridge or Somerville, but if it were it'd be twice as much. I get my own room, a huge almost walk in closet (such an improvement) and my own bathroom and I'm paying less then I am now!! So I think it's worth it.

So for now I'm packing up my apartment, trying to clean, and praying I can get my deposit back from this house. I don't think past tenants have cleaned it at all!! So it's pretty bad. Plus I'll still be working at the eating disorder clinic one weekend a month (this weekend). So there is always a lot going on. I'm excited to get through the next two weeks!!! I hope I'll be more settled then.

And this is why I don't have time right now to sit down and compose my thoughts and musings on my observances. (is that a word? I like it!!!)

I was tagged...

Places I've worked:

1-Fountain Green Swim Club (paradise)

2-Friendly's (best two weeks of ice cream EVER)

3-Stats recorder for Ricks College basketball games (don't trust the 99 stats)

4-Heritage RTC

and now FINALLY.....Discovery Day Treatment and the Laurel Hill Inn!!

Movies I can watch over and over:

1-Waiting for Guffman (and the like)

2-An Ideal Husband

3-Bedknobs and Broomsticks
4-Goonies

Places I've lived:

1-Nurenburg Germany

2-Bel Air, Maryland

3-Provo, Utah

4-Boston, Massachusetts

Favorite t.v. shows:

1-The Office

2-LOST

3-So You Think You Can Dance

4-Flight of the Conchords

Places I've been:

1-pubs in Northern Ireland

2- Bolliaden in Sweden

3- relatives in Germany

4-Disneyland

coming soon: The US Open

Favorite foods:

1-My mom's ANYTHING

2-Indian food

3-Thai food

4-chips and salsa!!! mmm, good!

Majors I had considered:

1-physical education

2-dietetics

3-communications

4-teaching

Places I'd rather be:

1-the beach (any beach) Mexico would be nice

2-on a yacht

3-playing tennis

4-in a French Village

Weird things about me:

1-very sensitive sense of smell

2-when i get snappy and irritable my friends know to ask about when I last went running or swimming.

3-I think the song Downtown by Petula Clark is the answer to everything.

4-I'm addicted to music...love it love it and love people who share it!!

Friends I'd like to tag:

1-Allison

2-Johnson (rosotto-whatever)

3-Peg

4-Chris and Tiff

something real

I saw something amazing tonight. When I say something real, I think I mean something that breaks real life down into basics, like a simple form, and the result is being grounded. Moments like these are so precious. They occur often, I believe, but it's not often that they can be witnessed by an outsider.

I have a job working with eating disorder patients. It's a small, private, residential setting. Tonight I found myself sitting on the front porch while a client called her father. This particular client is a bit older than the rest of the clients right now. She's in her 40's, and had just checked herself in for treatment. I sat far away from her so she could have some privacy, but in the quiet of the night it was not hard to hear her conversation.

Can you imagine the struggle? She checks herself into a residential center to get help with a disease she has struggled with for years and years. Her father is in his 80's and does not understand what she is going through. Although it's obvious that he loves her and wants to support his daughter, he doesn't really understand the problem. To hear her explain to him where she was and why...it brought tears to my eyes. I have NEVER been moved to tears while working. She asked him if he would come visit her. I could hear her shame and embarrassment, being unable to take care of herself, but now trying desperately to take care of herself.

As I talked with her after her call and thought about what I had heard and seen, I thought about the challenges that we all face as we try to take care of ourselves and deal with the struggles of life. This woman hit a low. She's now surrounded by girls half her age, wanting to leave, but longing to stay and get the help she needs. She has support in her family and friends, but that doesn't mean it's easy to ask for it.

I don't know what my point is exactly. Just that we can be so distracted by things that aren't really important. I worry. Worry about what? It's never worth the effort I put into the worrying. I love these moments of being grounded. It makes me think of the choices I am facing and simplifies the process a little. I am inspired by this woman. Her courage to admit that she needs serious help, to put herself in a setting with people who have little in common with her but one disease, and to admit her struggle and seek help from those she wishes she could help instead, show her desperation and desire to be cleansed. Although I don't share her disease, I have moments of desperation. I'm grateful to know I am never alone.

When it rains

they aren't kidding. It pours!!!

So for the last few days it's been raining, but that's really not the point. Less than a month ago i had no clue what I was going to do. I had no job, I had no plans, I had no ideas.

My status hasn't changed: still no job and no set plans. But now I have lots of ideas. I have had a ton of interviews lately and new things continue to pop up. So this is good!! Yes!!!

But I still don't know what I'm going to do. I had an offer today. I'm certain I'll get another one before the end of the week. I have two more interviews coming up and a woman just emailed me from where my per diem job is to see if I want to work there full time. WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?

?

Some places I'm for sure more interested than others. The pay scale is so low at some of these places I'm interested in, I'm wondering if it's worth it to work somewhere I know I'll like and fret about finances...

So anyways, all these new possibilities are pouring in and I do have a much better idea of what my career goals are, so what next?

But I love that opportunities are pouring in now. (my mom's fasting brings about miracles!!)

St. Lawrence River

I just got back from an amazing trip to the St. Lawrence River on the border of New York and Canada. My sister and her family vacation there every summer with her in-laws. They all gather at their homes there and go swimming, boating, skiing, wake boarding, and spend time with each other. My sister and her family live in California and this was a great chance for me to drive to meet them. It was also my birthday. We had so much fun together and I can't even express how beautiful it was there!! Here I am as they gave me a little tour in their boat around the different islands there. There are some castles on a few islands that have now become tourist attractions. This is the biggest one. There were bigger cruise/tour boats around these islands.
Here are all my adorable nephews. They are the sweetest cutest boys! They were all so nice to me and didn't want me to leave. We played hard everyday!!
I am kayaking with Jonathan and Eric while Danny and Mark canoe next to us. The island is called Ozone (where my sisters house is) and we would go around the island. It's small; the perfect size for these boys to go around.

This is the dock where I was picked up. I parked and then waited to see the boat coming towards me. I couldn't believe how it was so hot yet the water and breeze made it so comfortable. It was a little paradise.
Then I saw Elise and two of her boys coming to claim me. I never ever thought Elise would drive any kind of boat. She is becoming a very seasoned river-goer.
The first day I was there we spent some time helping the boys ski a little off this boat. It worked great because It went slower and helped ease the boys into the idea of being pulled by a boat. They were a little nervous at first, but thanks to a specially designed ski/wake board for children, they experienced success!
Here is their house. It was so beautiful. A part of it was a cabin that was built in the earlier 1900's for some rich guys lawyer. When my brother-in-laws parents bought the island years ago, they designed the house to incorporate the cabin. My pictures don't do a good job of showing that off. I love how the dock is right at the house! It made for incredible dreams as I heard boats fly in the distance and the resulting waves crash by my window.

This was my birthday party! It doesn't get any better than that. Brownies and ice cream and four fantastic kids who really like me!! Danny made me a bracelet that I wore the whole week and it never came off! One of the best presents ever!
Cheesing it up!! Jonathan wanted to take a bunch of pictures, so here I am with the present I just received. My nephews are all trained in the art of taking pictures. There is a chorus of "cheese" held out for a long time. It's hilarious because they'll say it yet they need to be convinced to stop what they're doing and look at the camera.

We BBQ'd on the tip of Atlantis (where Dan's Brother's house is) and all of their cousins came to play. There was a great swimming area and a beautiful sunset.

I have to include this!!! This is Dan's Brothers boat. Doug's brand new boat as my nephews called it. This cigarette boat is made for racing. The day I got there Doug was out in his boat with an instructor teaching him the correct way to drive it to optimize the boats capabilities. He took us for ride the next day. We went flying down the St. Lawrence River going over 100 mph!! It was insane!! Some of my hair came lose and it hurt to have it whipping around my face!! When we got back to the dock one of my nephews was fast asleep--how is that possible?!?! This was a definite highlight!!

This is my sister Elise and me. She is my oldest sister and I really enjoyed the chance to sit and talk with her and her husband Dan after the boys went to bed. They were so willing to help me come up with new ideas in my job search and the interview process. We talked about so much and it was truly enjoyable!!

Good Things

I'm leaving in the morning to go to the St. Lawrence River in upstate New York to stay at my sisters vacation home. I'm really excited!! So that's a good thing!

My birthday is really soon. I wanted to have a party on Saturday but a church activity has been rescheduled for Saturday and I have guilt about doing something at the same time. The good thing is that I'm choosing to not care about guilt--I'm done with that--and It's OK even if nothing happens for my birthday. I know I'm still special.

I had a new job possibility surface on Friday which sounds really interesting. So I feel hopeful.

I went to a friends birthday dinner tonight and really enjoyed sitting with 10 other women laughing about so many things: dream analysis, horrific clothing we had to wear as children, horrific clothing we chose to wear as teenagers, crazy things our parents did to us as children, and many more wonderful things. It's been a while since I laughed that hard!!

I visit teach some incredible women. Today we had a really interesting conversation about the tribes of Israel. It bounced to so many topics and it was nice to be able to talk about spiritual things. and it's OK to not understand everything!!

The best thing I've been thinking about today is how I can choose. I can choose anything. I choose how I want to feel! I know there may be some who disagree with that, but I stand by it. If something occurs and I feel upset or down about it. I can choose how long I'm going to feel that way, then I can act and do something to change it. And I think this is where the Savior comes in for me. My understanding is that he suffered so I don't have to. He's promised to help me and, again, I have to choose to allow him to.

It's so great to know that I am never stuck. That's a good thing.

Gloomy Mood

yeah, I don't really have anything to add to that. It sucks!