MIA?

not just from the blog--it seems life in general!! and I've been thinking about this blog, thinking about erasing it, but then there are things here I don't want to get rid of. and to be perfectly honest, i want to keep posting but I'm kind of going through a rough patch...if you will.

and I don't want to post stuff like this:

I turned in my final paper of my graduate school experience a few weeks ago. It was crap. Well, it generally addressed the topic, so not complete crap, but I deserve the C I received. C's mean degree's right? I pass the class NO PROBLEM!!

But I've lost a lot of motivation (even prior to this paper being done obviously). I've had almost two weeks of doing NOTHING. Graduation is Monday. Nothing is: I played tennis 4 out of 5 days last week, went to the beach once, Walden pond twice, visited the MFA, picnicked among fancy trees, camped at Lake Winnepesaukee, cheered at the 1/2 marathon there, have eaten so much food it's ridiculous, and today I went canoeing. and again to be perfectly honest, I'm FORCING myself to leave my house and do these things. I really would love to just stay in my room.

What am I doing? I'm done with school, I have this degree, my bishop told me my next step is to get married, and I'm looking around and I feel lost. There's nobody here I want to marry. I need a job, but I haven't followed up on anything. I'm running out of money, and the money thing freaks me out!!

So, I'm avoiding stuff, projecting my negative feelings on others (my education is paying off), but it actually helps me to get rid of some of this stuff...wow!

So Sarah and Tiffany (and my other faithful reader friends) maybe my next post won't be so depressing. I am hopeful!!