Thursday, November 29, 2007

Easy Street

Oh where to begin! I was at a friends house last night and she had just purchased this movie and it had been FOREVER so I really enjoyed watching my favorite scenes. This may be the top of the list.

I dedicate this to Dave and Tiffany. We're all looking to live on Easy Street, Dave sounds like Tim Curry, we have some great dance moves, and we all want to sing! SO I propose we recreate this at the very next possible opportunity.

All the rest of you can just enjoy a trip down memory lane.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Sweet Mother of Mystery!!

(5 points for anyone who can identify the character I have in mind saying the above title.)

I recently received one of the best gifts I've possible EVER received. This weekend I had a wonderful time going home to visit my family. My sister-in-law Tiffany had mentioned to me that she was going through all of her belongings and getting rid of a lot of stuff AND she had some stuff for me. I feel the need to clarify here, for those who may not know Tiffany, that she and I have a good time together. We tend to agree on situational humor and often when one of us encounters something truly humorous or intriguing we usually can bank on the other person appreciating it in the same way.

That being said...

When Tiffany arrived with bag-o-goodies in hand I was at the edge of my seat! Tiffany has AMAZING belongings. She has a way of finding things that others could only imagine. I just hoped she had chosen to pass some amazing treasure on to me. She did NOT let me down.

Out of her overstuffed black trash bag she took out a small booklet. She then tossed it at me. As I looked to the small cover I read, How to Be Irresistible to Men: Beauty and charm guide for women of all ages." I kid you not! Brilliant!

(I also feel the need to clarify the nature of the giving and receiving of this gift. We get a kick out of this because its so ridiculous! I mean it's for pure...research purposes? I don't even think that allows for the right image. We just really enjoy things like this.)

This particular book was published in 1981, is 3 x 5 inches on the cover, and has 64 pages. This is a GEM! AND it has amazing illustrations. The back cover reads: This excellent handbook has all the secrets you need to transform yourself into a super-female, with a dynamic personality that will endear you to men of all ages.

I've only read a bit at the beginning so far. I mean, I don't want to overload myself with too much new information. But I've already come to my first worthy-of-a-blog-post point.

Smile...Talk...Touch...But Keep Your Distance. The writer refers to Nancy Reagan, Farrah Fawcett, Jackie Onassis, Liz Taylor, and more and asks the reader what makes them so irresistible to men. The writer answers: in a word--aloofness.

I quote:

"what does it mean? The nations leading "beautiful people" may be exquisitely garbed but their charm originates in being aloof. They will approach you, smile, talk politely, even touch you, and then move away and off the scene. Being aloof means keeping your distance! It is not coldness. Rather, it is a "magic ingredient" that will make any ordinary woman become instantly irresistible."

Isn't this fabulous! I cannot wait to increase my level of aloofness. I'm so going to take this over the top (just for research purposes). My aloofness will shame even George! Remember that "Seinfeld" episode when George decided that he had to leave people wanting more, so after making a funny joke or witty comment he would promptly exit with the phrase, "Okay, that's it for me folks, I'm outta here." I tried to find a clip of it on youtube, but could only find ten minute best of george clips.

Some of you may be wondering, how do I become more aloof? Let me highlight from our writer:

"Be friendly, but not to the point of being very intimate. When you maintain an invisible wall between the other person and yourself, you create an aura of mystery that is the key to a super-attractive personality. The secret here is that men are attracted to what seems distant to is this very polite air of formality that lends an air of mystery to which nearly all men are known to succumb."

I think I love this because of how it's written. I wish I could read you these pages! But I think for those of you who know me well, you may be able to read the bits I've quoted with the right tone of voice. I just love it.

Let me leave you with this, "Be warm, be vibrant, be an exotic personality, but try to keep an invisible wall between yourself and others. You'll find that you become irresistible through this simple device."


coming soon: Intelligence vs. Irresistibility

Friday, November 23, 2007

Logical Fallacies

I'm a nerd. I know.

Lately I've been thinking about logical fallacies. I think it started with me leading a group at work where we discussed beliefs people have about the world that are wrong. Yet we function under these beliefs because in our backgrounds we have learned that either these are correct or they should be. It's rather interesting. I wish I had the paper we were reading off of and I would tell you what they were, but the only ones I can remember now include that life should be fair and that everyone should follow the same behavioral standard we hold ourselves to. Both of these leave people feeling frustrated and angry because it's never going to happen. So there is a little background for you on why I've been thinking about my own faulty ways of thinking.

I remember being in high school and learning about logical fallacies and finding them rather humorous. I remember the idea of Inductive Arguments. For example:
Premise 1: Most American cats are domestic house cats.
Premise 2: Bill is an American cat.
Conclusion: Bill is domestic house cat.

I also remember a Deductive Fallacy
Premise 1: If Portland is the capital of Maine, then it is in Maine.
Premise 2: Portland is in Maine.
Conclusion: Portland is the capital of Maine.

I remember talking with my siblings and friends making up our own fallacies. So over the weekend I tried to do that again but found that my creativity was lacking. This made me sad. But I did come up with one real life example. I have recently been playing music exchange with a few friends. One friend told me that one band he didn't care for was stellastar*. I decided recently that stellastar* reminds me of The Cure. I therefore deduced that my friend could not possibly care for The Cure either. Anxious to text my hypothesis I sent him a text message inquiring if he was a fan of The Cure. He responded "not really." I was pretty amused. I was right, but at the same time realized that my logical approach to my hypothesis may not prove accurate when tested with more people. But in keeping with my logical fallacy mode of thinking I will just conclude that one who does not really like the cure will not really like stellastar*. It will look like this:

premise 1 Tom doesn't like The Cure.
premise 2 The Cure is like Stellastar*
conclusion: Tom doesn't like Stellastar*

I realize this whole thing is just stupid. But I like breaking things down like this. Then I called my brother David because I was so amused with myself and thought he could help me come up with some more funny fallacies. He did BETTER!!!! Love is a Fallacy by Max Shulman. Check this out:

This is only one of the funniest, well written explanations of many errors in logic. We read it on Thanksgiving as a family and laughed with delight. All through out dinner as we talked about religion and politics I enjoyed pointing out hasty generalizations, post hoc, false analogies, dicto simpliciter and hypothesis contrary to the fact.

What I think I like the most about this is that it makes me think about how I think. I am guilty of many errors in logic. I recently resolved that I want to start a new group. One that would be about thinking. I could bring in short stories like Love is a Fallacy and the Lottery, mix it up with Aesop's Fables, and throw in some proverbs. I think it would be a valuable group to discuss how we think about things. I'm excited about this idea. But like I said before: I am a nerd.

Monday, November 12, 2007

I want to be a race car driver

Lately I have been driving a lot. More than I'd like. I spend a lot of time on the freeway sitting in traffic to and from work. It pretty much sucks. a lot. I have also noticed that with all this driving frustration I feel a great desire to BUST OUT!!! By that I mean many different things. Sometimes bust out screaming at the car in front of me, other times bust out dancing to the fabulous new Top 40 cd a friend passed on to me (since I don't have any music like that), bust out singing--which I do often--loudly. When there is movement on the road, I want to bust out swerving around those people who feel the need to drive 55 mph on a goes on.

I have also noticed that when I'm on a road and there isn't a lot of traffic I want to drive as fast as I can. I don't really think about it, I just do. I like to see how fast I can pass the car next to me. As I do so, I wonder why they aren't driving faster. I mean, we are all on the road because we want to get somewhere, right? We could all get there a little faster if we helped each other out. I love finding breaks in the heavy traffic driving home from work. Why do people feel the need to change lanes when they aren't passing a car? I find that I can actually drive faster in the far right lane then in the far left during high traffic times. I also pride myself on being very aware of my surroundings as I push 70 or 75 (here's to hoping) when cars around me are going like 60. I can time it pretty well and maneuver around them. It's like I'm a race car driver in a video game or something. What I need now is a nicer car.

I've also stopped obeying certain traffic rules. For example: lights that change when they don't need to--I've started to ignore them. If there is a pedestrian, by all means, I will stop and let them go. But if they aren't there, why should I stop for a blinking walk man on a street sign? I've also stopped slowing down for yellow and red lights. If the car in front of me goes, I don't care what color the light is, I'm going too. All those signs about not turning on red? Doesn't apply to me. I was taught to look both ways before crossing a street when I was in kindergarten. I have only perfected that since then and find it a useful tool when driving.

There are other things I laugh out loud about when driving. Like how I drive with my knees, text in my left hand as I switch songs or playlists around on my ipod in my right hand. This is pretty ridiculous. I feel the need to say here that I am not an idiot. I am actually a very safe driver. Lately I just want to push limits. This is such a lame way to do it, but it's better then some other things I could do. (and other things I'm not going to blog about)

As I write this I realize that I have some level of defiance surfacing (in a few different areas, not just driving). I sit in group therapy all day long and am pretty good at analyzing my own crap. I'm having a hard time being done in school, having a job, and realizing that this is my life. I think at times I feel that it's all wrong. I miss my previous life of rock climbing, long boarding, running in the mountains, swimming almost daily, spending time with friends that I love, and being close to my family. That was right. So until I figure out how to manage/balance/change what's happening now I have to BUST OUT!! I like some calculated risks, adventures, something exciting. Driving is just one feeble way I'm striving for SOMETHING. and that's pretty lame.