(5 points for anyone who can identify the character I have in mind saying the above title.)
I recently received one of the best gifts I've possible EVER received. This weekend I had a wonderful time going home to visit my family. My sister-in-law Tiffany had mentioned to me that she was going through all of her belongings and getting rid of a lot of stuff AND she had some stuff for me. I feel the need to clarify here, for those who may not know Tiffany, that she and I have a good time together. We tend to agree on situational humor and often when one of us encounters something truly humorous or intriguing we usually can bank on the other person appreciating it in the same way.
That being said...
When Tiffany arrived with bag-o-goodies in hand I was at the edge of my seat! Tiffany has AMAZING belongings. She has a way of finding things that others could only imagine. I just hoped she had chosen to pass some amazing treasure on to me. She did NOT let me down.
Out of her overstuffed black trash bag she took out a small booklet. She then tossed it at me. As I looked to the small cover I read, How to Be Irresistible to Men: Beauty and charm guide for women of all ages." I kid you not! Brilliant!
(I also feel the need to clarify the nature of the giving and receiving of this gift. We get a kick out of this because its so ridiculous! I mean it's for pure...research purposes? I don't even think that allows for the right image. We just really enjoy things like this.)
This particular book was published in 1981, is 3 x 5 inches on the cover, and has 64 pages. This is a GEM! AND it has amazing illustrations. The back cover reads: This excellent handbook has all the secrets you need to transform yourself into a super-female, with a dynamic personality that will endear you to men of all ages.
I've only read a bit at the beginning so far. I mean, I don't want to overload myself with too much new information. But I've already come to my first worthy-of-a-blog-post point.
Smile...Talk...Touch...But Keep Your Distance. The writer refers to Nancy Reagan, Farrah Fawcett, Jackie Onassis, Liz Taylor, and more and asks the reader what makes them so irresistible to men. The writer answers: in a word--aloofness.
I quote:
"what does it mean? The nations leading "beautiful people" may be exquisitely garbed but their charm originates in being aloof. They will approach you, smile, talk politely, even touch you, and then move away and off the scene. Being aloof means keeping your distance! It is not coldness. Rather, it is a "magic ingredient" that will make any ordinary woman become instantly irresistible."
Isn't this fabulous! I cannot wait to increase my level of aloofness. I'm so going to take this over the top (just for research purposes). My aloofness will shame even George! Remember that "Seinfeld" episode when George decided that he had to leave people wanting more, so after making a funny joke or witty comment he would promptly exit with the phrase, "Okay, that's it for me folks, I'm outta here." I tried to find a clip of it on youtube, but could only find ten minute best of george clips.
Some of you may be wondering, how do I become more aloof? Let me highlight from our writer:
"Be friendly, but not to the point of being very intimate. When you maintain an invisible wall between the other person and yourself, you create an aura of mystery that is the key to a super-attractive personality. The secret here is that men are attracted to what seems distant to them...it is this very polite air of formality that lends an air of mystery to which nearly all men are known to succumb."
I think I love this because of how it's written. I wish I could read you these pages! But I think for those of you who know me well, you may be able to read the bits I've quoted with the right tone of voice. I just love it.
Let me leave you with this, "Be warm, be vibrant, be an exotic personality, but try to keep an invisible wall between yourself and others. You'll find that you become irresistible through this simple device."
AND THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!!!
coming soon: Intelligence vs. Irresistibility
8 comments:
I just knew this book was for you Linda.
I can't wait for aloofness updates.
good times, good times.
you can come back to maryland now, I miss you already.
That quote is killing me by the way. I KNOW I know it.
When I hear it in my head I hear a slight speech impediment accompanying the voice.
Is it Dumb and dumber? Or Jim Carrey in SOMETHING?
Let's make it four comments, what the heck.
can i just say for the record how much i LOVE tiffany?!
i can only imagine the wonderful goodies that she handed over and now i want to come over and see them.
It's 1:25 AM, I am in the middle of feeding Swabby and I know the quote.
Homestar Runner
5 points for me.
I just kept repeating it over and over without the R's because that's how I heard it in my head and it came.
For the record: I love peggy back.
you guys are two of my favorite people! And yes, tiffany, I'm glad you were able to work out Homestar's voice. I love it!
and so far the aloofness hasn't yielded any dramatic results, but them I'm working and when I try to ignore my clients things go badly.
I was sad to read down this list of comments and see that someone knew the quote before I could get to it! DAG!
oh uh.. this does not look good for Homestar runner..
Thanks for inviting me to your blog!! this is so fun!! HI!
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