I had a conversation with my father recently. Both of us are in the mental health field and we often talk about human behavior and thought processes. We were discussing crying. My father said that sometimes you hear people talk about tears of joy, but that there really was no such thing. All tears are a result of some kind of sadness or loss. I disagreed with him and so we discussed. At the end of our discussion I could see his argument. Very often our tears are linked to a loss or sadness although we may be happy for someone else.
BUT I still have one holdout. Sporting events--mostly the Olympics. I have cried before watching the Olympics. I remember a few tears of JOY dropping when Kerri Strug nailed her landing in the 96 games. It was amazing! I remember a few tears of JOY dropping when Brandi Chastain scored the final goal in the shoot out winning the women's world cup in 1999. I'm not sure what those tears are about but I can't find a sadness. I think it's recognizing the pain and the work and the dedication and then the final payout...AHHH, I get goose bumps just thinking about it!!
It leads me to this. Michael Phelps. I watched every single event. I was a competitive swimmer for many years and to watch this man swim gave me chills!! CHILLS!! The team unity and support of Lezak, Piersol, and everyone else just supporting him and watching him dominate and do so much for the sport is incredible. This article articulates it perfectly. I get chills again reading it and the tears come to my eyes.
So what about that? Is that sadness Pop? What do you guys think?
15 comments:
Can't you cry when you're happy too?? What about spiritual things? Or when you laugh so hard you cry? Just a thought
I'm with you Linda. I'm a joyful crier. Church is the perfect example.
Love hearing your thoughts!
xo
i have actually been thinking about this lately. oddly, i can understand what your dad is saying. lately, when i cry about something happy, there is always a little sadness associated with it. i always seem to cry about family related stuff, especially about children. even though i mostly cry because i love jane so much, i cry a little because in the back of my mind there is a fear of something bad happening to her, or something. it's hard to explain and it's really weird but i can see your dad's point. it may not be sadness, completely, but it is something. and too, when i cry about something spiritual, it is usually more happiness than sadness but also an almost desperation and plead for help for my incompetent soul. i don't think i am making any sense and i don't know why this subject is so interesting to me, but there you go. that would be really interesting to study, or maybe it already has been studied. i'm going to look it up.
here's the deal with the church example: when you tear up at church often it is the result of recognizing your own unworthiness before God. In a way it's the sadness of your imperfections and weaknesses. At the same time you see the need for the Savior. In that there is great gratitude, but it is in result of your unworthiness and neediness in the first place.
so again, gratitude mixed with the sorrow.
alison, you said it better than I did.
i might have to agree with your father. maybe we cry when we're happy because we are sad that we don't want to lose this moment.
nate and i discussed this at length last night and we came to the conclusion that when you cry, there are multiple emotions that become so overwhelming, you cry. you can be happy and cry but there are a lot of other emotions in the mix as well. so interesting!
I think we can experience more than one emotion at a time. I think dad is right. The tears come from the sadness in our emotions, even though at times we also have partly happy feelings. But it is the sadness that brings on tears....
I remember you dad saying that the tears at church were not so much because of our weakness as it was that we are longing and missing something, which is the presence of the love of God in heaven. We long to be with him again and to feel that love all the time.
I am with you though, the sports and the hallmark commercials, the lady winning a car on price is right...it doesn't add up.
Wow, I loved that article! I got chills. I swam competitively too (a long time ago) and I love love love watching the swimming. Michael Phelps is amazing and I found myself analyzing his strokes and kicks and being in awe with how perfect he is at what he does.
Upon first reading this post, I thought you were wrong, but then I realized a lot of times I have cried joyfully, the tears were often tinged with a bittersweetness for whatever extenuating circumstance existed. Maybe there is some sadness wrapped up in those joyful sport tears. You know there was pain and work in that and you know that the athletes had to sacrifice a lot to get where they are. To me, that has some of a bittersweet quality to it.
Yeah... I don't know...
Church thing, I agree with dad (we had this convo while I was home and I was gonna post it but you beat me to it).
I don't know about the sports thing. Like I feel teary sometimes during music--certain kinds. Maybe you cry at the olympics because you are so SAD that you weren't there doing it yourself! :)
It was Chris personal mission to watch every bit of televised olympics and every time I watched with him I cried... There is something that gets me to see people realize their dream, it is so beautiful! But I don't think that I am feeling sad b/c I did not do it myself...I think I'm really just happy! I don't think that when Chris started to cry after each of our kids was born...that he was sad about anything, in fact I don't think he ever thought it could be so great! I think we all have different 'cry levels' I am the highest level possible! I cry at everything! Even the home depot olympic commercials and especially the johnsons and johnsons commercials!
Chris just disputed everything I wrote...he says I cry when watching the olympics because I realize that they have had to sacrifice and I'm touched that their hard work and sacrifice have paid off...he says that he cried when our kids were born because he was over come with love for them and fear for their health and safety. So much for my thoughts...I must be a sad person because I cry a lot of 'tears of joy...but I think I like tears of joy!
I really love all your comments! I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here, I agree with all of you. It's such an interesting topic. I love that we could have this little forum. I'll try to post more deep questions in the future. like, what's your favorite alternative energy source? KIDDING! I have nothing to contribute to that conversation I've learned.
You might enjoy this Mr. Media podcast interview with US Olympic gold medal winners Brandi Chastain and Kerri Strug.
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