On a recent visit home, my sister-in-law shared a blog with me (I used to have the blog linked but then I noticed today that she's had a bunch of angry hate comments from "anonymous" people and I don't want to feel responsible for the ignorant irate). I love satire. I love when someone is able to express a thought or idea so well through writing that it makes me excited. I love how this person has created a blog that perfectly mocks one ridiculous aspect of our culture. The best thing about satire and things like this is that it makes people think. Well, it makes me think. I hope it would make more than just me think.
Upon reading this blog my immediate reaction is that it's so witty and humorous. My reaction about 30 seconds after my immediate reaction is, "oh my gosh, I hope I'm not like that." About 2 minutes after that I recognize that there are a few who are really like that, and that this is a dramatic compilation of anything and everything that's annoying about Mormon culture blogs. Then I had to do an honest assessment and find my score on the Scale of Stupidness (as I like to call it). I wish there were a mathematical equation to find out an actual score, but I don't know how to do that really. I just like to make stuff up.
But what's good about this is that there are a few things that have been annoying me about my blog for the last several months but I haven't done anything about it.
1. I hate writing about blogging.
2. I know I've gotten into a terrible habit of excessive use of exclamation points. It really drives me crazy. I'm also guilty of adding emphasis in cheap ways. By cheap I mean that it's really a whorish way of writing. Good writing doesn't need all capital letters, millions of exclamation points, or fluffy filler words. Good writing is concise and powerful because of how it is written.
3. I was an English major for my undergrad studies and I love writing. It takes me a while to say what I want to say, I stew over word choice and punctuation, and I like writing about things that are worth writing about. I miss having things that I find worth writing about. Also, I wish I could spell, knew better grammar, and could write with that kind of power I alluded to in number two.
Now I'm excited. I miss being able to write. I'm going to try again.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Titanic
No, it's not 1997. Remember when The Titanic was the biggest movie EVER? Everyone was talking about it, there was all the controversy about the nudity, and Leonardo DiCaprio wasn't on Growing Pains anymore?!?! I remember everyone carrying on about that movie forever!!!! Well, I never watched it. It's not like I sat down and refused to watch it. I just never did. It was two VHS tapes and freaking LONG!!! I was sure that it was good, but I also knew that it was about a huge tragedy and chances are, even with a new movie to highlight the event, people would still die in this version. I also have a really hard time with ship sinking, people drowning movies.
For example, it's New Years Eve, 1989 (probably) I'm in 4th grade. My father decided to rent Poseidon Adventure to accompany our supply of soda and peanut butter M&M's. I could hardly stand this movie. I STILL have nightmares which involve a HUGE wall of water moving towards me, wiping out everything. Where did I see that? Poseidon Adventure. At one point I remember I was sitting on the top of the back of the couch and my brothers teasing me, "Linda, are you trying to get out of the water?!?!" I was freaked out!! I don't like watching people drown and die. This experience may have contributed to my not rushing out to see the Titanic.
I graduated high school in '97 and went away to college and this movie was such a big deal. I think after a while it became kind of fun for me to tell people when they were talking about it, that I hadn't seen the film and couldn't really participate in their discussion. A few months ago I noticed that the movie was on TV. I was working and had nothing else to do and I watched like 20 minutes of it. All I saw was Leo handcuffed to a beam and water rising, then Kate Winslet finds an axe and miraculously hacks perfectly to cut him free and then they try to get up on deck. I still didn't think I was missing anything.
Last Saturday I was working again. One of the new girls wasn't able to go on a visit with her family and Titanic was her favorite movie. At 6:00 we started watching Titanic. I warned her and the others in the room that I hadn't seen this--scoffs and bafflement followed for a few minutes--then I told them I was excited to see it, AND that I'd try to control myself and not freak out. I told them before hand that I have severe issues with drowning, blatant disregard for human life, and cocky wealthy people who think they rule the world at the expense of others.
At 9:30ish we finished, I think. I had to flee the room once, when they were shutting the emergency doors and people were still stuck in the boiler room to drown. I have a hard time with that. There were a few times when I had to apologize because I was pointing out some things that didn't make sense (can't remember what that was now), and when I was yelling about people making stupid decisions when their education and intuition know better. That whole Titanic sinking thing could've been avoided. And I LOVED when they showed the frozen baby and kid screaming in the hallway, and the mom singing her kids to sleep with the water rising. That stuff was awesome!
Overall though, I actually really liked it. I realize it's a cheesy love story and I could've done without the old lady throwing the diamond in the ocean-the batty old hag. But seriously, I liked it. I really liked the characters and the filming itself was pretty cool. AND I liked that somehow I made it out without having that Celine Dion song stuck in my head!!! (I've had that Air song stuck in my head all weekend-Celine couldn't even trump that) I doubt I'll ever sit through it again, but I'm glad I've seen it. I thought it was good.
Now I'm wondering what other movie can replace Titanic for being an epic film that everyone loves, everyone should see, everyone knows it, but I don't? hmm, Schindler's List?
For example, it's New Years Eve, 1989 (probably) I'm in 4th grade. My father decided to rent Poseidon Adventure to accompany our supply of soda and peanut butter M&M's. I could hardly stand this movie. I STILL have nightmares which involve a HUGE wall of water moving towards me, wiping out everything. Where did I see that? Poseidon Adventure. At one point I remember I was sitting on the top of the back of the couch and my brothers teasing me, "Linda, are you trying to get out of the water?!?!" I was freaked out!! I don't like watching people drown and die. This experience may have contributed to my not rushing out to see the Titanic.
I graduated high school in '97 and went away to college and this movie was such a big deal. I think after a while it became kind of fun for me to tell people when they were talking about it, that I hadn't seen the film and couldn't really participate in their discussion. A few months ago I noticed that the movie was on TV. I was working and had nothing else to do and I watched like 20 minutes of it. All I saw was Leo handcuffed to a beam and water rising, then Kate Winslet finds an axe and miraculously hacks perfectly to cut him free and then they try to get up on deck. I still didn't think I was missing anything.
Last Saturday I was working again. One of the new girls wasn't able to go on a visit with her family and Titanic was her favorite movie. At 6:00 we started watching Titanic. I warned her and the others in the room that I hadn't seen this--scoffs and bafflement followed for a few minutes--then I told them I was excited to see it, AND that I'd try to control myself and not freak out. I told them before hand that I have severe issues with drowning, blatant disregard for human life, and cocky wealthy people who think they rule the world at the expense of others.
At 9:30ish we finished, I think. I had to flee the room once, when they were shutting the emergency doors and people were still stuck in the boiler room to drown. I have a hard time with that. There were a few times when I had to apologize because I was pointing out some things that didn't make sense (can't remember what that was now), and when I was yelling about people making stupid decisions when their education and intuition know better. That whole Titanic sinking thing could've been avoided. And I LOVED when they showed the frozen baby and kid screaming in the hallway, and the mom singing her kids to sleep with the water rising. That stuff was awesome!
Overall though, I actually really liked it. I realize it's a cheesy love story and I could've done without the old lady throwing the diamond in the ocean-the batty old hag. But seriously, I liked it. I really liked the characters and the filming itself was pretty cool. AND I liked that somehow I made it out without having that Celine Dion song stuck in my head!!! (I've had that Air song stuck in my head all weekend-Celine couldn't even trump that) I doubt I'll ever sit through it again, but I'm glad I've seen it. I thought it was good.
Now I'm wondering what other movie can replace Titanic for being an epic film that everyone loves, everyone should see, everyone knows it, but I don't? hmm, Schindler's List?
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
it must be told!
Last week there seemed to be extra amounts of traffic everywhere I went. At some points it seemed to be like a third world country. On the news I heard about extreme accidents and things that made transportation difficult for many. No matter where I turned there were three times as many cars or people as there normally would be. I'm not sure what's been going on-why that is-but I've learned to relax a little. I've also been reminded that I've been carrying my camera in my bag and I should take advantage of this.
So one morning last week there was a huge fire in Boston. An old restaurant that's been around since Paul Revere made his famous ride burnt to a crisp one evening and as a result a major exit was blocked getting into the city. I didn't know any of this as I started out on my commute. I realized something was terribly wrong when it took me 15 minutes to merge onto the freeway. This is where my funny story begins. As I enter the freeway I do some fancy maneuvering and try to get into the lane that looks like it's moving the fastest. As I do so I notice a little red car moving toward the right shoulder with it's front left tire completely flat. I look at the poor soul and thought to myself, "man, that sucks!" I've always been really empathetic. I was grateful that it wasn't me. I could already tell it was going to be a rough morning and to have something else on top of that--it's uncalled for. 45 minutes later I have gone maybe a mile and I notice the same little red car on the shoulder where I have finally arrived and the driver was now changing his tire. I looked, confused at the time/distance and all the work I'd been doing to get to where I was and how this man was just as far as I was WITH his flat tire. He was now just loosening the bolts. I drove on thinking that the man was probably wise and took advantage of the opportunity to drive on the shoulder for a while and pass a ton of cars.
So I drive on. Another 40 minutes or so go by and I'm now another mile or so up the road. At this point, I'd already called in late to work, called several friends to see if they want to go to breakfast and I'd exit the freeway and just get to work when I got there. No one could meet me which was probably a good thing. I called my dad and we talked for a while. As I was talking to my dad something amazing happened! Sweet mother of mystery!!!! The little red car appeared in the lane next to me!!! I KNOW!!!! I've been sitting on the freeway for nearly two hours and i have not gone very far. This man was able to pull off the road, change his friggin tire, and now he was in a lane that was actually passing me. My dad told me I should probably get behind him and follow his maneuvering through traffic.
I was laughing out loud at the slap in the face that this was to me. Then I remembered I had my camera!!! By now I was in a good lane that was going to pass up all the traffic and he was further right. So I did my best. It was right as I was entering the tunnel so I had to act quickly and all good opportunities were lost earlier. But here is his. The stupid red car that pretty much mocked me and the other fools around me. I'm still puzzled by the whole thing.
So one morning last week there was a huge fire in Boston. An old restaurant that's been around since Paul Revere made his famous ride burnt to a crisp one evening and as a result a major exit was blocked getting into the city. I didn't know any of this as I started out on my commute. I realized something was terribly wrong when it took me 15 minutes to merge onto the freeway. This is where my funny story begins. As I enter the freeway I do some fancy maneuvering and try to get into the lane that looks like it's moving the fastest. As I do so I notice a little red car moving toward the right shoulder with it's front left tire completely flat. I look at the poor soul and thought to myself, "man, that sucks!" I've always been really empathetic. I was grateful that it wasn't me. I could already tell it was going to be a rough morning and to have something else on top of that--it's uncalled for. 45 minutes later I have gone maybe a mile and I notice the same little red car on the shoulder where I have finally arrived and the driver was now changing his tire. I looked, confused at the time/distance and all the work I'd been doing to get to where I was and how this man was just as far as I was WITH his flat tire. He was now just loosening the bolts. I drove on thinking that the man was probably wise and took advantage of the opportunity to drive on the shoulder for a while and pass a ton of cars.
So I drive on. Another 40 minutes or so go by and I'm now another mile or so up the road. At this point, I'd already called in late to work, called several friends to see if they want to go to breakfast and I'd exit the freeway and just get to work when I got there. No one could meet me which was probably a good thing. I called my dad and we talked for a while. As I was talking to my dad something amazing happened! Sweet mother of mystery!!!! The little red car appeared in the lane next to me!!! I KNOW!!!! I've been sitting on the freeway for nearly two hours and i have not gone very far. This man was able to pull off the road, change his friggin tire, and now he was in a lane that was actually passing me. My dad told me I should probably get behind him and follow his maneuvering through traffic.
I was laughing out loud at the slap in the face that this was to me. Then I remembered I had my camera!!! By now I was in a good lane that was going to pass up all the traffic and he was further right. So I did my best. It was right as I was entering the tunnel so I had to act quickly and all good opportunities were lost earlier. But here is his. The stupid red car that pretty much mocked me and the other fools around me. I'm still puzzled by the whole thing.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Hawaii--photo documentation
It has been requested that I post some photo's of my trip to Hawaii here on my blog. So I will oblige and offer brief descriptions. Let me begin by saying it was such an awesome trip. I went for a wedding. My good friend Suzy was marrying a friend of ours, Stu, hence Stuzy '08. I met up with my good friend M.E. and we enjoyed a lot of sun. We stayed in Waikiki, one of the top tourist spots in the world. It was an adventure for sure!!
This is the first night I arrived. It was a beautiful sunset in Waikiki with local singers and dancers entertaining the tourists.
M.E. and I needed some documentation that we were, in fact, there. We couldn't have been happier.
The first morning, after the first sunset, we woke up and went to the beach. M.E. went surfing and I lazied on the beach to my hearts content. Here I wanted documentation that I was there. There was a funeral that morning for a local man who'd lived his whole life in Waikiki. The boat you see is carrying most of the funeral procession out to sea where I believe they were dumping his ashes. There had already been a caravan of Hawaiian canoe-type things leading the way with many attractive native Hawaiians. After the funeral they all stayed to surf.
One of my only touristy things I did was go to Pearl Harbor on Sunday afternoon. I love stuff like this. They had a really nice visitors center and free video and tour. It was really informative and then we got on a boat that took us out the memorial for the U.S.S. Arizona that is still visible just below the surface of the water. Pieces of the ship still stick out above the water. Thousands of men are entombed within the ship. Such a tragedy.
This is the inside of the memorial. It was completely quiet and incredibly windy (I was wearing a skirt). I really loved being able to learn a bit more about what happened there.
So like I said, we came for the wedding. This is the beautiful Laie Temple. We also drove through the BYU campus.
Stuzy
M.E. Sarah and I having our own photo session after the sealing.
This is us waiting outside the temple. It was such a perfect day!
We took tons of pictures of us while we waited. I found this flower on the ground (because you can't pick flowers at the temple, but if they fall, help yourself).
Here are some of my favorite scenes. We drove the the eastern coast one evening at it was so beautiful!!
We decided we had to come back to this beach in the morning because it was so perfect!!
Doesn't this remind you of Goonies? or Lost?
or the Lady in White?
Back in Waikiki. I was there.
This is the first night I arrived. It was a beautiful sunset in Waikiki with local singers and dancers entertaining the tourists.
M.E. and I needed some documentation that we were, in fact, there. We couldn't have been happier.
The first morning, after the first sunset, we woke up and went to the beach. M.E. went surfing and I lazied on the beach to my hearts content. Here I wanted documentation that I was there. There was a funeral that morning for a local man who'd lived his whole life in Waikiki. The boat you see is carrying most of the funeral procession out to sea where I believe they were dumping his ashes. There had already been a caravan of Hawaiian canoe-type things leading the way with many attractive native Hawaiians. After the funeral they all stayed to surf.
One of my only touristy things I did was go to Pearl Harbor on Sunday afternoon. I love stuff like this. They had a really nice visitors center and free video and tour. It was really informative and then we got on a boat that took us out the memorial for the U.S.S. Arizona that is still visible just below the surface of the water. Pieces of the ship still stick out above the water. Thousands of men are entombed within the ship. Such a tragedy.
This is the inside of the memorial. It was completely quiet and incredibly windy (I was wearing a skirt). I really loved being able to learn a bit more about what happened there.
So like I said, we came for the wedding. This is the beautiful Laie Temple. We also drove through the BYU campus.
Stuzy
M.E. Sarah and I having our own photo session after the sealing.
This is us waiting outside the temple. It was such a perfect day!
We took tons of pictures of us while we waited. I found this flower on the ground (because you can't pick flowers at the temple, but if they fall, help yourself).
Here are some of my favorite scenes. We drove the the eastern coast one evening at it was so beautiful!!
We decided we had to come back to this beach in the morning because it was so perfect!!
Doesn't this remind you of Goonies? or Lost?
or the Lady in White?
Back in Waikiki. I was there.Monday, June 2, 2008
Work Post ~ brought to you by Almond Joy
I have many stories and many pictures, many things that I hope to post eventually. The problem is that most of the time I'm at a computer at work and I don't have my pictures here, and more often than not, I left my creativity and patience at home too. (that or I lost it already today)
But today I was sitting at my desk--I still am-- and I had a mini Almond Joy sitting near me. I decided to eat it (shocker) and was reflecting on the goodness that is Almond Joy. I used to HATE Almond Joy and Mounds. I hated coconut as a child and I thought anything with any coconut was disgusting!! I'm happy to report that I really like it now. I guess I should say that there are conditions: I don't like cooked coconut or really overpowering coconut drinks. I'd just rather have something else. But this brings me to a new bulleted list...
Food Linda Hated in Childhood, but Now Enjoys:
*Almond Joy
*Lasagna
*onions
*cheeseburgers
*cheeseburgers
*salad
*fish
*dark chocolate
* hots (red pepper, hot peppers, anything that allows for spice, heat or flavor)
*tomatoes
Food Linda Liked in Childhood but Now DETESTS (a little strong-prefers not to have):
*pastries (of any kind)
*donuts (is that considered a pastry?)
*cookie crisp cereal
*ramen noodles--except for Wagamama
*string cheese
*spaghetti
*pasta in general (besides lasagna)
I'll have to keep adding as things come to me. I wish that both lists were longer. I'm still thinking...
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