Some People Think She's Not So Smart...

...but really, she's sharp as a tack!!!

I have to keep reminding myself of this because I have been doing some incredibly stupid things lately. I really have no idea what my deal is. Well, not entirely true. I guess I always have an idea. Stress, anxiety, balancing too much, taking on too much, trying to hard to impress, trying to do it all myself...I could go on. (or just stop TRYING!!!)

But instead, I'd just like to highlight a few of the embarrassing, dumb as rocks, yet somehow quite cute and endearing (hopefully?) experiences I have had of late.

1. Tuesday night. Driving to Boston. I've done this SO many times. Without thought!! This particular night finds our friend Linda running a little late to meet up with her friend and visiting teachee. She remembered she was almost out of gas and stopped to remedy that situation. Then she began driving. As she drove away from Porter Square, she hesitated. Huh. Which way do I go, she thought. She decided that somehow Cambridge Street helped so she went there. As she drove she got more and more frazzled. Where am I going?!?!?! She had no idea. She frantically called as many people as she possibly could who may be able to help her on her way. I don't understand this, she thought. I've done this many times and always just go where I want to go and now that I'm thinking about it, I have NO CLUE!! A few people called her to try to help. She couldn't even tell them where she was. Finally, as a result of several friends willingness to help her baby step her way there, she found her way.

Actually, as I was talking to Whitney (who lives where I was going) It suddenly became clear. It was really awful though. It was like I was losing my mind. Crazy-making we call it in my world. I finally got there met with my friend and one parking ticket later, I was on my way home. We only got on the 93 South instead of north, but other than that, unscathed.

2. I recently had a conversation with a friend where I started to tell a story. It was funny because as soon as I began, I realized that I couldn't remember a few things. One, why I was telling it, two, what happened in the story, and three, probably my name. But I continued on. I was sure that as I spoke it would come back. It didn't. Instead I just looked dumber. This one ends with my friend saying, what happened? me, I don't remember. friend, why are you telling me? me, another good question and I really don't know. But you were involved and it was funny. BOMB.

3. Ooh, this one's in class. I have a class called Planning for Health/Mental Health Services. I don't know what planning means and it's half way through the semester. I shouldn't admit that, but whatever. I'm gonna graduate and if planning comes up, I'm sure I'll be fine. So this week in my class my instructor showed us a video about...something about doctors in hospitals being held accountable for personal statistics or something. Like surgeons, what they do, how successful they are, a report card of sorts. Moving on....we watch this video and then discuss it after. I don't remember now (see 2 above, JEEZ!!) what we were talking about but I decided I had something to say which is usually pretty entertaining for my classmates. This time as I started to talk, my opinion shifted or something, then I said something else, then after a little bit of my rambling, I noticed that I'm still talking. Why is my mouth still moving. MAKE IT STOP!! What am I saying?!?!? No clue. So I decided that I would just stop mid sentence and say "BLAH BLAH BLAH, and now I don't know what I'm trying to say so I'll just stop." Oh, the best part, I also used a talking hand gesture next to my face as I did the blah blah blah for emphasis. It worked quite well. I was then done, got some laughs and my friends picked up to clarify whatever point they heard me making. BLESS THEM!!

4. Today I asked a friend of mine if he runs on some of the paths through the Arlington Cemetery in VA and into DC. He was trying to find out which path I was thinking of (there are thousands Linda, thousands). So I decided to clarify by identifying the monuments along the way. But I couldn't remember the name all of a sudden. I said, "The Hiroshima monument?" and as soon as it was out of my mouth I remembered that I'm an idiot. He laughs and asks if it looks like a giant mushroom. Yup. Yup it does smarty pants. I meant Iwo Jima!!! not that i know how to spell that. Thanks to the Internet I now realize it's two words. So I laughed along so I can say I'm laughing with them. shame.

5. Just one more for today. I was sitting in church today, and I guess this doesn't really have much to do with me being stupid, this just sucks. I was sitting in church today. there is 10 minutes left of the 3 hour block and my stomach starts rumbling like I've NEVER heard it before. I realize this happens, I've heard it through out meetings before. But for some reason this was especially bad. It was SO LOUD and it wouldn't stop!! The people next to me would nudge me and smile, Yeah, this is FUN!! People in front were turning around looking at me. GREAT!!! Yeah, I love the attention people. For some reason it was just really embarrassing. It was an awful sound.

ok, i'm done (sigh).