Thursday, August 9, 2007

something real

I saw something amazing tonight. When I say something real, I think I mean something that breaks real life down into basics, like a simple form, and the result is being grounded. Moments like these are so precious. They occur often, I believe, but it's not often that they can be witnessed by an outsider.

I have a job working with eating disorder patients. It's a small, private, residential setting. Tonight I found myself sitting on the front porch while a client called her father. This particular client is a bit older than the rest of the clients right now. She's in her 40's, and had just checked herself in for treatment. I sat far away from her so she could have some privacy, but in the quiet of the night it was not hard to hear her conversation.

Can you imagine the struggle? She checks herself into a residential center to get help with a disease she has struggled with for years and years. Her father is in his 80's and does not understand what she is going through. Although it's obvious that he loves her and wants to support his daughter, he doesn't really understand the problem. To hear her explain to him where she was and why...it brought tears to my eyes. I have NEVER been moved to tears while working. She asked him if he would come visit her. I could hear her shame and embarrassment, being unable to take care of herself, but now trying desperately to take care of herself.

As I talked with her after her call and thought about what I had heard and seen, I thought about the challenges that we all face as we try to take care of ourselves and deal with the struggles of life. This woman hit a low. She's now surrounded by girls half her age, wanting to leave, but longing to stay and get the help she needs. She has support in her family and friends, but that doesn't mean it's easy to ask for it.

I don't know what my point is exactly. Just that we can be so distracted by things that aren't really important. I worry. Worry about what? It's never worth the effort I put into the worrying. I love these moments of being grounded. It makes me think of the choices I am facing and simplifies the process a little. I am inspired by this woman. Her courage to admit that she needs serious help, to put herself in a setting with people who have little in common with her but one disease, and to admit her struggle and seek help from those she wishes she could help instead, show her desperation and desire to be cleansed. Although I don't share her disease, I have moments of desperation. I'm grateful to know I am never alone.

5 comments:

spoonfulL said...

i love this post. thanks for making a beautiful point that we all have common ground. even with people who suffer in ways we don't ourselves understand. we can learn so much from each other's efforts to fight toward light.

Amanda said...

thats really nice linda
:)
love you.

Tiff Rueckert said...

I love reading your blog Linda! It makes me miss you so much! I'm with you...I often worry just to worry! How silly. We never realize just how good our own lives are...I don't think I would switch places with anyone, infact I know I would not!

Likely said...

congrats to the working girl anyhow.

it's hard to separate self from work eh? I am not one to detach my emotions from anything.

you, my friend, will have quite a bit of detaching to do, I assume.

Linda said...

yeah tiff, but it's something I haven't had too much trouble with. Maybe I'm just detached naturally...that can't be good!