Where I am

Life seems really challenging right now. I feel like I have so many decisions to make and think I keep screwing that up making the wrong ones. I also don't feel like I have too much control over certain parts of my life. So, I try to combat those thoughts with lines like, "I can make hard decisions!" , "This is not out of control or too much", "Jesus loves me, this will work out!", "I am capable, talented, smart, I need to be patient" and other don't-freak-out-Linda messages.

My favorite part is my difficulty sleeping. Last night I don't think I fell asleep until like 2:30 or so. Wouldn't be a big deal if I wasn't really really tired. So I lay there. THINKING!!! That is the worst!!! Too much time to be harassed by my own thoughts. But I'm proud of myself. I remember thinking that I have so many blessings, trying to focus on those. Honestly, I get kind of dramatic if it's 2am and I'm really tired. Everything get blown out of proportion and productive thinking stops. Hence my pride in wanting to recognize my blessings and not focus on everything that sucks. Problem was that when I tried to think of my blessings not much came...enter my dramatic limited productive thinking in the early morning hours. Luckily, I fell asleep (although I had some crazy dreams!!! Jeez!!)

So I was thinking I'd start out this morning with some of the blessings I should have recalled last night...But now I don't really think that I want to.

See where I am!!!