modesty wars

I'm not sure why, but today I found myself thinking back to one of my very first arguments (that I can remember) about modesty with my parents.

Well, I guess I kind of know why. I was in church today and I wore flip-flops. For some this is not a big deal, but I come from a family where there are things that are Sunday wear and things that are NOT. Flip-flops are on the not side. My father (I love him dearly) has very strong opinions about what's appropriate when we dress to worship. I love that they have taught me to try to look my best. I had a late night last night, and an early morning. I wore my flip-flops today because I wanted to be as comfortable as possible, almost sleep-like. And all day, felt slightly guilty because I knew my father would be disappointed.

So as I sat in my meetings today I kept thinking about my flip-flops and looking at how others were dressed. I was surrounded my many do's and don't's of my upbringing. As I sat I remembered my emerald green skirt.

Picture this: 6th grade. That's like 11 or 12 right? Me going shopping. I some how convince my mother to buy me this black and emerald green plaid skirt. Thinking back now, my mother should have said no because it was ugly, nasty ugly. This is like 1990 people. But somehow I got this skirt home. I LOVED this skirt!! I was so excited to wear it, so I tried it on for my sister Elise. Elise was probably 16 or so and immediately chimed in that it was too short and that dad would never let me wear this. In fact, I believe Elise was going to make sure Dad wouldn't let me wear it. Because I vividly remember this conversation (if you could call it that).

My dad comes home from work. We eat dinner, Elise and my mother bring up the infamous skirt and I am made to go try it on to show my father. I remember standing in our living room, which is right off the kitchen, my dad still eating dinner, my sister sitting on the couch in the living room, (looking but not), and me pleading not to return the skirt. I was so upset! so angry that this skirt was like 3 inches above my knee. It was going back. I don't even think they gave me the option of doing "what I thought was right." It was going back. I was devastated. I totally blamed Elise.

There have been many such wars to follow. Formal dresses, swim wear (honeymoon and not), shorts, cap sleeves--ok or not ok, form fitting blouses...it goes on and on. I'm happy to say that we are able to laugh about some of these situations now, but I know we ALL (Sarah and Elise) remember the strong feelings evoked in those discussions/debates.

I also want to add that I LOVE that I was taught that there are right and wrongs when dressing modestly. I am not one to tell someone else that they should do what I do, or think the way I think. But I am very grateful that I have been taught to have respect for my body, and to find the reasons to be more modest instead of the many excuses not to be. I am by no means perfect in this category. It's actually something I still struggle with at times. But it's now an easy struggle. I want to be modest, not just the way I was taught, but the way I believe NOW that I should.