Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life...doo doo doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo doo

I'll be honest, today wasn't that great. It started off really great!! I was on my way to my internship listening to some amazing music gearing up for a karaoke night this Thursday (that's right). I had a brilliant plan to challenge all my friends to a dedication/shout-out competition. I already had my first lined up...Mr. Big Stuff. Dedicated to my dear friend Brian...cause Who Do You Think You Are? I know...it's good.

So I'm driving along, pretty pleased with my new discovery when SLAM!!! I am rear-ended by the car behind which pushes me into the HUGE F-150 in front of me. My day took a sudden and harsh turn. I won't re traumatize myself by telling you the horrible frustrating experience. I'll just jump ahead to me co-facilitating a group today on Anger. My supervisor, who I really do have a good relationship with, decides that Linda has some great issues that would be entertaining to bring into the group today. So he says, "Linda, let's use an example. Let's just say, hypothetically, that you were in a car accident this morning...[everyone knew I was in a car accident, so everyone proceeds to laugh because it's real easy to laugh at me when you people live in misery daily]...how do you manage your anger in a situation like that." It's funny because this hypothetical actually helped me to realize that I was pretty pissed about the whole situation. Then people proceeded to tell me that I should go to the ER because I did have some neck a back pain. This just made me more angry (which my supervisor noted and smiled gleefully about). I am learning to admit that I get angry and deal with those feelings (I'm a facilitator in this anger group, just in case you missed that detail). So fast forward again to our processing the group in the staff office. We discussed how it was great self-disclosure for me to tell the group that "I love that you all now realize that I disguise my anger with other emotions that feel more comfortable for me, and right now, I'm not that comfortable." Brilliant Linda, Brilliant.

So this brings me to the five other staff vs. me confrontation about my going to the ER. I did not want to go. Me: Yes my neck and back hurt a little, but what are they going to do? It's just sore and it'll pass. Them: You HAVE to go. You could really be injured and it could get worse, you can get arthritis in your neck and have to be treated later, there could be something more wrong, you'd feel better, you should go, blah blah blah... Me: fine I'll go (if you all shut up). so I left.

Fast forward again...Somerville Hospital ER. Interesting people. Frustrating visit. To make a long story short (Peggy) I have strained my neck and back. Great. Glad I went. But this brings me to the highlight of my day. So I had to go through the little intake process where Gus had to do the whole blood pressure, heart rate, height, weight thing. So he's measuring my blood pressure and heart rate and I'm watching the numbers (not knowing at all what they mean) and he says, "oh, that's not right, don't worry we'll do it again." OK. So he proceeds to take my heart rate again. As he looks at the numbers puzzlingly, he starts to count the pulse rate himself on my wrist. "Great" I say, "am I dead?" No, of course not. My heart rate is just ridiculously low. Huh, I think. He asks if I am an athlete. I think about this. Yes? I answer more in the form of a question. That must explain it because he sends me on my way.

So I meet with the doctor and get my thrilling diagnoses and the nurse comes to free me. At this point I start wondering about my heart rate. What's normal? What was mine? What if I am not an athlete? What does it all mean Basil? So i ask the nurse, let's call her Gwen (a good nursy name). She looks at the paper and says. He wrote down 52. Let me check it again. OK. so she gets the little finger clamp thing and we both stare at the numbers. This time it's about a 45. She says normal is in the 60's. So she goes to tell the doctor, I did try to stop her, but she wouldn't have it. Am I dizzy? I don't even know what else they asked. But you're an athlete? Yes I answer this time with confidence. Oh, OK, they say. And then they let me leave. Still wondering about the whole heart rate thing. But since I'm looking on the bright side of life, I will just enjoy the fact that I'm freaking healthy.

I will also enjoy the fact that my doctor, bless his heart, prescribed rest, hot soaks, massage and pain meds. I think I'll take him up on that.