You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.This lovely little ditty was shared with me by a few close friends who have been hunting for some reason our world has been so weirdly warm...not that I'm complaining, although it is creepy...
This leads me to my recent adventures as I return to Boston. I received the above notice and decided that YES!! I will do my part and help fight global warming. Perhaps I should consider becoming a pirate!!
To experiment a little I decided to visit the USS Constitution which is still sea worthy and docked in Boston Harbor. Since the weather was so nice a friend and I ventured out...ain't she a beauty!?!?!?
Here I am beginning to get the feel of being aboard a really old ship. Could I climb those ropes? Could I fire a cannon? Could I steal someones treasure, learn to handle a knife, sing pirate songs, climb the masts, and whatever else would be required of me? Could I?
YES I COULD...AND HERE I AM!!
ARGHHH!!!!
Our next stop was the WWII battle ship. The USS Cassin Young--A much cooler name in my opinion. Sounds more pirate-like, but didn't look it though. Although the WWII vessel did have other appealing pirate-like qualities.
60 Men all off at sea, all of 'em drunk except for me...Yo Ho Ho Ho over the raging sea we go, Yo Ho Ho Ho over the raging sea, HAY!! (just getting the feel)
Hmm, modern day pirates need guns like these, and probably top-notch, state of the art computers. At this point I am certain "It's a Pirates Life for Me!!"
But WAIT!!! What's this...off at sea for long periods of time? Eating really hard stale bread? (thank you USS Constitution museum) Drinking Lively Water, contaminated with algae, and all other kinds of little critters (thank you my chipper tour guide Naval Officer Stacy) Do I have what it takes?
Maybe I should just buy a Hybrid. Or I could always practice. Maybe go to a ship that's actually moving...hmm, maybe I will. I WILL!!!!
8 comments:
That striped shirt is an excellent start! Just watch out for SCURVY!!
But, it would be you and 60 guys! That's pretty great ratios. The living conditions (food, sleep, etc) couldn't be all that bad... could it?!!
okay. this is HILARIOUS. i actually am fine with global warming, i guess, if it means winters on the east coast permit short sleeves and short skirts :)
by the way, i own a hybrid. and suddenly, everyone thinks i am a tree-hugger. but just for the record, i had this conversation the other day and i don't actually believe in global warming. i believe in global cycles.
bravo! or should i say yo ho ho?!
Me thinks you would be a mighty fine pirate. Me also thinks that being a girl pirate means wearing sleazy clothes and showing cleavage?
Arrrrgh.
I mean Arrrrgh?
That last picture looks like you are "losing your lunch" off the side of the boat.
arg matey! pirate, good. global warming, bad.
tiffany, it's supposed to look like that. That's me overwhelmed by all the pirating responsabilities, plus the rocking rocking rocking of the boat in the harbor....
as daniel would say " aunt linda is a pirip?!?!? LETS PLAY PIRIPS!!!!!"
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